All limericks on this page were created by Tom Campbell, for some unknown reason. If you wish to torture yourself further, you can find Tom's space and astronomy-related limericks on his Amateur Astronomy website.
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There once was a fellow named Wright Who ate everything in his sight. He once ate a tree -- Spit it out, "Ptueey!" Its bark was much worse than his bite. |
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There once was a bandit named Sid Who got caught by a knight in Madrid. Sid said, "That gold's mine," "So unhand me, you swine!" Then the knight took his sword, and he did! |
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There once was a damsel in fright; A dragon was causing her plight. Soon a hero came by, But ran off with a cry. I guess it just wasn't her knight. |
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The doctor was skilled in his craft. He said, "Sir, you'll need a skin graft. Your ankle won't heal And has no appeal. Besides, I need the money," he laughed. |
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A Jayhawk is a bird most unique; It has quite a muscled physique. Its wings say "KU" And its feathers are blue, From its shoe-covered toes to its beak. |
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A Mildcat is a feline most odd; Purple fur covers most of its bod. But the thing I lament Is its odorous scent, Which resembles the smell of a cod. |
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A Mildcat is fearsome, 'tis true Their looks are disturbing to view. One saw his reflection And said with dejection, "With a face like mine, who needs to say 'Boo'?" |
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There once was a purple Mildcat Who loved to eat birds and get fat A Jayhawk he spied, And sadly he cried, "I can't eat a bird tough as that!" |
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A Mildcat did say with chagrin, "A Jayhawk once peeled off my skin. Although I've nine lives, It still isn't wise To mess with a Jayhawk again!" |
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There once was a Mildcat named Sherm Who was nervous and often infirm. He said, "Why I'm weak, Is 'cuz I saw the beak Of a Jayhawk who thinks I'm a worm!" |
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[After the 2004 Governor's Cup game] Football teams from Kansas were they; For the Governor's Cup they did play. For eleven years straight, It was won by K-State, But this time, it was won by the Jay! |
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Now, some people say that it's true That Mildcat fans haven't a clue. They'll rock and they'll roll When their team scores a goal But sadly, their points are too few. |
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There once was a Mildcat named Bruce Whose whiskers were tattered and loose When asked why they were, He said with a purr, "A Jayhawk had my head in a noose." |